Conversations with an ADD/ADHD Boyfriend

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with your partner who has severe ADD/ADHD? Well, my boyfriend has this. I will be talking about meaningful topics and he will have this blank stare on his face. He will even be making eye contact. Then he will start a random ass discussion, very enthusiastically. 90% of the time he cuts me off to continue his word vomiting.

I realize that “meaningful topics” is a very subjection term. Because I am more emotional than him (I blame it on my womanly ovaries), the topic I am trying to discuss is usually centered around something “sweet” or “making love” or “admiring how handsome he is” or thinking “he makes me feel beautiful”. Some type of sentimentality shit.

Then. Out of left field…

1) “I wonder if aliens have a deep voice. Because if they do, I’d like to have dinner with one… or maybe five if I could ever convince five aliens to eat human food with me. What do you think they’d eat?”

2) “One time me and a buddy bought this fly gun called “Bug-A-Salt” <laughs hysterically> We’d sit in my tattoo shop with sunglasses and our hats on backwards with war paint under each eye. We’d take it very serious. And when a client walked in, we’d pretend it was a real gun. Shit got real!”

3) “Benadryl is basically the most effective OTC medication. It makes me sleep like a baby after the baby has been breastfed.”

4) “I can’t wait to build a drone with virtual reality capability so I can watch your face during sex.”

5) “I was watching a show about paranormal incidents that occur in the United States. Hah…” <silence>

6) “Do you think polar bears are sensitive creatures?”

7) “Have you ever wondered what you’d use for a porn star name?”

8) “We should start an ant farm. A big one. Then put a lizard in there and see what happens. Poor lizard. Maybe not a lizard.”

9) “I think opossums are very misunderstood animals. If I had a face and tail like that, I would OWN that shit.”

10) “You should tell my mother to adopt you. Then I’d technically be your brother. In a weird-very-incest-y way, it sort of works. For all of us, really.”


I have learned to expect literally anything to come out of his mouth at any given time. To let him have his moment and go along with it until he realizes he cut me off. Then we finish the original topic and usually we never come back to his chosen topic fueled by his ADD/ADHD. I have also learned, if I fight him on his thought process, he feels the need to go into great depths regarding why he thought of his idea(s) and the benefits it would bring. Not to mention the joy he’d feel if it were brought to fruition.

Sigh. Men.