To Be Determined…

I can’t stop loving you. I am so unequivocally in love with you. And when I ask myself “why” I am left with the blessing of shame for not moving on as fast as you did. We loved each other very differently when we had our time. You lived in the fantasy world of optimism… Continue reading To Be Determined…

Sorting Things Out

What am I afraid of? Being alone? Because I already am. Not having sex? I would probably have more. Never finding adventure? Nothing is holding me back now. Starting over? Because it is inevitable that this happen one day, one way or another. He doesn’t care and I cannot make him care. I have so much compassion and… Continue reading Sorting Things Out

Finding Gratitude in the Dark

I had a very rough day. My body and brain are still trying to adjust to a rather crazy change in a mood stabilizer/SSRI and the side effects continue. Hallucinations, outbursts of crying, extreme depression and fatigue, and the occasional panic attack. It’s almost midnight and as I reflect back on today, I am grateful… Continue reading Finding Gratitude in the Dark

A Second Day of Gratitude

I’m grateful for sleep. I’m grateful for me body and all the hardship it has endured. I’m grateful for water. I’m grateful for my Self and all my parts. I’m grateful that I’m not alone in my struggle with mental health and that my support loves me unconditionally.

A Day for Gratitude

I’m grateful for a yard that my dog can run in. I’m grateful I have a reliable vehicle and my body is mobile. I’m grateful my counselor has stayed with me through this journey. I’m grateful for finger nails. I’m grateful for those who volunteer their time selflessly to help others and our planet. I’m… Continue reading A Day for Gratitude

Learning to Love

It’s never easy to walk away, let her go. When you touched my heart, you could tell I was broken. Everything leads to – just walk away – but you love me. It will be okay. It will hurt. Bottoms up, tonight. Time can’t steal the love you’re born to find. Never easy but you’ll… Continue reading Learning to Love

This is me.

I have been struggling with the side effects of depresion and anxiety medications for a little over three years now. When I took a mental health genetics test through GeneSight it finally led us on the right path. However, no one could have guessed just how sensitive my system really is. I have tried over… Continue reading This is me.

Who Am I – A Poem?

A different place, different conversation. Still wanting to runaway now. Chasing my self, seeking my personality not found. Who am I? If I can’t have myself then you can’t have me either. Lost, hot damn. This river flows and boulders crash circling the tornado. At rock bottom, does the grass grow green? Glimmer before me?… Continue reading Who Am I – A Poem?

A Rainy Day

Here it comes. A post all about ramblings. Mostly to satiate my boredom. It’s gloomy and wet outside and everyone else in the house (one human and seven animals) are asleep. So what is a girl to do? Side note: My ADD has already distracted me from writing two times. Positive note: I just put… Continue reading A Rainy Day