What am I afraid of? Being alone? Because I already am. Not having sex? I would probably have more. Never finding adventure? Nothing is holding me back now. Starting over? Because it is inevitable that this happen one day, one way or another. He doesn’t care and I cannot make him care. I have so much compassion and… Continue reading Sorting Things Out
I had a very rough day. My body and brain are still trying to adjust to a rather crazy change in a mood stabilizer/SSRI and the side effects continue. Hallucinations, outbursts of crying, extreme depression and fatigue, and the occasional panic attack. It’s almost midnight and as I reflect back on today, I am grateful… Continue reading Finding Gratitude in the Dark
I’m grateful for sleep. I’m grateful for me body and all the hardship it has endured. I’m grateful for water. I’m grateful for my Self and all my parts. I’m grateful that I’m not alone in my struggle with mental health and that my support loves me unconditionally.
I’m grateful for a yard that my dog can run in. I’m grateful I have a reliable vehicle and my body is mobile. I’m grateful my counselor has stayed with me through this journey. I’m grateful for finger nails. I’m grateful for those who volunteer their time selflessly to help others and our planet. I’m… Continue reading A Day for Gratitude
Sometimes I wonder what this life will bring next. I pulled myself out of bed today. I remember staring at the clock for over an hour thinking “just five more minutes”. Do you ever wonder WHY you got out of bed on certain days? I have no explanation for todays miracle, lol. I am still… Continue reading Day Nine – No Antipsychotics
What comes next? After a long “fight”. He calls it venting. I call it a personal attack towards my abilities or inabilities. My head is pounding so I should probably get Tylenol. My nose is still stuffy and I’m out of Kleenex so maybe that extra roll of toilet paper in the adjoined bathroom seems… Continue reading Are We At “Enough”?
It’s never easy to walk away, let her go. When you touched my heart, you could tell I was broken. Everything leads to – just walk away – but you love me. It will be okay. It will hurt. Bottoms up, tonight. Time can’t steal the love you’re born to find. Never easy but you’ll… Continue reading Learning to Love