After being so suicidal for so long, then finding the right medication and thriving, then being slammed down and suicidal again by a reaction to Tramadol…. followed by the joy of thriving again once Tramadol was out of my system.
It’s been two weeks since my mind has been clear and stable again. That is something huge to celebrate after my pain I’ve endured on the bathroom floor crying hysterically.
So why? Why are old tendencies popping back up? Why is food becoming my drug again? Why did I call into work today because I “didn’t feel like going”.
Why isn’t anything easy for longer than a few days 😦 this is why I want to give up and end it again.