Sitting up in bed against the headboard. With the nightstand light on. Listening to ambient rain sounds. With a puppy and kitty snuggled near me.
Sounds awesome on paper. Well, in writing.
In reality: I’m nauseous and borderline gagging, anxious and can feel my heart pounding, nervous of failure, dehydrated from not wanting to lift something to my mouth to drink. And my foot hurts.
When this happens so frequently OR hasn’t happened in a long time and is now happening- makes it so fucking annoying. So then I stress about that, lol.
Is this a merry-go-round that I have the pleasure of living with the rest of my life?
If so, sounds like a misery I’d like to end.