Day Nine – No Antipsychotics

Sometimes I wonder what this life will bring next. I pulled myself out of bed today. I remember staring at the clock for over an hour thinking “just five more minutes”. Do you ever wonder WHY you got out of bed on certain days? I have no explanation for todays miracle, lol.

I am still feeling massive loads of depression and hopelessness. We are on day nine of no antipsychotic mood stabilizer. Symptoms are unstable. One moment I will be brilliant, sharp, quick witted, and productive. The next could be unprompted tears or anger. Coping with these symptoms are so challenging.

I’m told that I am going though this for a reason and that it isn’t in vain. I pray that I will be able to pass knowledge to at least one other person someday. That I can ease someone else’s pain and struggles by offering my wisdom. Because at this rate, I just want to give up for good and end it all.

Positive note. The hallucinations caused by the side effects of medication withdrawal haven’t presented themself in the last 24ish hours! #thumbsup