I Want to Remember…

The moment I decided I didn’t have to succumb to my parent’s expectations to be happy.

The days that I decided to not kill myself.

The strength I found in faith and hope when I was in the pits of despair.

The moments that I put trust that my employer wouldn’t fire me during my six-month disability leave.

The days that it took me to convince myself that there is still good in the world.

All the times that I found courage to pick myself up off the shower floor.

The exact moment in my counseling session that I felt joy for the first time.

The exact moment in my counseling session that I knew I was love for just being me. For being present.

The moment that the strongest energy consumed me; love. I am in love. For the first time.

The sound of a basketball leaving the tips of my fingers at the 3-point line; followed by “swoosh”.

The sound of my first cat meowing loudly in my ear at six in the morning.


I want to remember my kind heart. Regardless of the pain it has endured. Regardless of all my suffering. I want to remember how kind, selfless, and caring I am and always strive to be.