The 5:04 AM Post

Posted in Mental Health

I woke up due to my boyfriends mothers boyfriend staying with me in my house. He got up and my dog went into a spaz of excitement.Anyways. 

Now I’m up. Now my mind is spinning with thoughts, plans, an agenda for the day, fears, hopes, concerns. I’ve tried music, drawing, reading – all for a distraction – all unsuccessful.

Now that I’m writing my mind realizes “hey! Maybe I shouldn’t fight against you… MAYBE you need sleep.”

But now my creativity has sparked.

“DUH, brain.”

I wish the instability would cease to end. I wish for one night of restful REM sleep. 

I wish others were physically here to hold me, right now.

I wish…

And I fully believe it is up to me to find happiness; it won’t just land on my lap.

How do you do that when depression is winning?

Is it true that impossibilities only exist in my mind???

Ughghghg.

2 thoughts on “The 5:04 AM Post”

  2. It is so hard to feel balanced when you aren’t getting enough sleep. I go through periods like this as well until my body straight up crashes on me. I hope you get some REM sleep tonight!

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