I’m lost. I never added up. Suffocate to forget. Locked in my mind – Twist and turn. Instead, pain is amplified. Break free – need to breathe. Find a smile in my dream – Pain subtracted from My chosen state of mind. Let’s leave it all Behind.
Tag: suicide
Fear
My entire life I’ve never had anyone to inspire me or believe in me. Reflecting, the individuals that I thought had pure intentions were only concerned with their own intentions. To tack onto those statements, society is a complex dynamic. Each person is living with a different childhood, their own pain, their own beliefs. Have… Continue reading Fear
4:25 AM Post
Sitting up in bed against the headboard. With the nightstand light on. Listening to ambient rain sounds. With a puppy and kitty snuggled near me. Sounds awesome on paper. Well, in writing. In reality: I’m nauseous and borderline gagging, anxious and can feel my heart pounding, nervous of failure, dehydrated from not wanting to lift… Continue reading 4:25 AM Post
Backsliding
After being so suicidal for so long, then finding the right medication and thriving, then being slammed down and suicidal again by a reaction to Tramadol…. followed by the joy of thriving again once Tramadol was out of my system. It’s been two weeks since my mind has been clear and stable again. That is… Continue reading Backsliding
Suicide: December 29, 2016
Have you ever been suicidal? My psychiatrist calls it “suicidal ideations”. What the hell is the difference? I recall being immobile in bed for six months straight. With one thought: it would be so much easier to not be alive; to not have to breathe one more breath. Because each breath kills you a little… Continue reading Suicide: December 29, 2016
New Me?
This isn’t me. At least, I don’t think it is? If it is the new me then I hate it! Ever since the roller coaster of trial and error with SSRIs, Aug2016-May2017, I have been recovering. Apparently my neurotransmitters process great, so when you increase them, I get significantly worse. Now?… Cognitive function is slow… Continue reading New Me?
The 5:04 AM Post
I woke up due to my boyfriends mothers boyfriend staying with me in my house. He got up and my dog went into a spaz of excitement.Anyways. Now I’m up. Now my mind is spinning with thoughts, plans, an agenda for the day, fears, hopes, concerns. I’ve tried music, drawing, reading – all for a… Continue reading The 5:04 AM Post
Healing Energy
Channel your inner energy. Focus on that energy and heal your inner consciousness so that it radiates. 🔥 We cannot control every detail of our life. Including the debilitating days of depression. But we can try to make the most of it by finding a coping mechanism.
Personal Growth
I am so moved by the CarlyMarie quotes that I found on Pinterest a while back. What does personal growth look like for you? Step 1 for me was realizing I am loved – it doesn’t require another to love me. I’m love simply for being.
