Sitting up in bed against the headboard. With the nightstand light on. Listening to ambient rain sounds. With a puppy and kitty snuggled near me. Sounds awesome on paper. Well, in writing. In reality: I’m nauseous and borderline gagging, anxious and can feel my heart pounding, nervous of failure, dehydrated from not wanting to lift… Continue reading 4:25 AM Post
Tag: Mental Health
Backsliding
After being so suicidal for so long, then finding the right medication and thriving, then being slammed down and suicidal again by a reaction to Tramadol…. followed by the joy of thriving again once Tramadol was out of my system. It’s been two weeks since my mind has been clear and stable again. That is… Continue reading Backsliding
Pretty
It’s a rare moment friends. I feel pretty. The kind where you lower your head slightly and smile. Or you want to smile into the mirror because you know that in that moment, no body could find you more pretty than you do. The kind where you let your hair be a little messy and… Continue reading Pretty
Spiritual Awakening
I believe, with all certainty, that I have had a spiritual awakening. We’ve all heard of mind, body, and spirit. But do you know what it means? Until recently, I had no clue what the spiritual component meant. I have been focusing on connecting my mind and body. Stabilizing my moods, mindset, emotional intelligence understanding… Continue reading Spiritual Awakening
Become Fire – Not Ash
Sulking particles Granulated dust, Swimming in the Ocean we trust. Neat and tidy Formed we spun, Bonded heavy to Form a ton. Power lifts below. Cold transformed Into smoldering heat, A life you can beat… Yet unknown. The myth be told. We unite and Not ready to fold. Burning heat Blazes in our… Continue reading Become Fire – Not Ash
. . . Workday Sept 6 . . .
ZzZZzzZ.. Does anyone else ever get the point in the work day where you think “holy crap – I am tired”? Following shortly after, your posture sinking down, hands holding your head up, and your eyes closing shut (you know the kind of closing where it is so rewarding yet feels so “naughty” because you… Continue reading . . . Workday Sept 6 . . .
Suicide: December 29, 2016
Have you ever been suicidal? My psychiatrist calls it “suicidal ideations”. What the hell is the difference? I recall being immobile in bed for six months straight. With one thought: it would be so much easier to not be alive; to not have to breathe one more breath. Because each breath kills you a little… Continue reading Suicide: December 29, 2016
Blogger Recognition Award
Thank you A huge thank you to Glimmers of Silver for her nomination – I am truly grateful for this recognition! Her blog encourages me to explore why I think what I think, what I do and why I do it…and at the end of the day, what is the meaning of it all? She… Continue reading Blogger Recognition Award
My Life
Beautiful mind, Lost and alone. The broken past, Chaos and control. Her heart of gold, Selfless and dull. My mystery ride, Inside and out, brings Self-discovery Untold. Quest for peace – the Tears and the pain Ache deep inside. Irrationality in control. String me along Until I fold. Question remains – Choose to live, in… Continue reading My Life
Presence
Alive Above ground Sink within At my worst In my despair You were there Search for air Let it fold Be bold The chores Before I broke Obligated To dream or Scream You were still there
Finding Happiness 