I had a very rough day. My body and brain are still trying to adjust to a rather crazy change in a mood stabilizer/SSRI and the side effects continue. Hallucinations, outbursts of crying, extreme depression and fatigue, and the occasional panic attack. It’s almost midnight and as I reflect back on today, I am grateful… Continue reading Finding Gratitude in the Dark
I have been struggling with the side effects of depresion and anxiety medications for a little over three years now. When I took a mental health genetics test through GeneSight it finally led us on the right path. However, no one could have guessed just how sensitive my system really is. I have tried over… Continue reading This is me.
A different place, different conversation. Still wanting to runaway now. Chasing my self, seeking my personality not found. Who am I? If I can’t have myself then you can’t have me either. Lost, hot damn. This river flows and boulders crash circling the tornado. At rock bottom, does the grass grow green? Glimmer before me?… Continue reading Who Am I – A Poem?
Internal Hope – Originally posted August 5th, 2017 I think of the word “hope” and I must admit, I have no idea how to put a definition on the word. And I use it all the time. Hell, within my first blog on this site, “My Personal Hell”, I referred to hope. In case you can’t… Continue reading Internal Hope
[This image was taken in 2011 in her youth-ish years. I won’t post a picture now because it is sad to see her so old] Snip. My precious baby that I’ve had through all these years of struggle. I got her the year I was going into my Freshman year of high school. Every late… Continue reading My 19 Year Old Kitty
“My Mind” – June 15, 2017 Smart mouth Head Spinning Silenced Whip lash ends Despair withdrawals Beg for You To calm my storm Paramount Recovery of hope. Demons retreat, Almost.
Can someone please tell me the difference? Maybe there is no difference. Maybe the rage is the trigger for the anxiety? Or does the anxiety trigger the rage? Either way, there is a catalyst propelling change in an arguably unpleasant outcome. Have you ever thought about it this way — the other driver(s) has no clue… Continue reading Road Rage vs. Road Anxiety
Do you ever need someone? The type of need that forces one last breath without their presence? Without them you know your lungs will collapse. As your chest rises and falls, you know within each tenth of a second how acutely aware you are that you cannot have them. Worse? The fact that you cannot do… Continue reading Without You
Come back No dream Sorrow pours deeper Than the black sea The heart of so many I’ve lost track Your smile so Sarcastic, sweet No judgement Acceptance between Think about me? Remember me? My mistake Question the truth Always missing you
Everything happens for a reason. I’ve never met You but I know the truths that I believe in. I pray to You once in a while and I know You don’t judge me for not doing it daily or not attending church every Sunday (more like once every three months). You love every man the… Continue reading The One Who Holds the Stars