Finding Gratitude in the Dark

I had a very rough day. My body and brain are still trying to adjust to a rather crazy change in a mood stabilizer/SSRI and the side effects continue. Hallucinations, outbursts of crying, extreme depression and fatigue, and the occasional panic attack. It’s almost midnight and as I reflect back on today, I am grateful… Continue reading Finding Gratitude in the Dark

This is me.

I have been struggling with the side effects of depresion and anxiety medications for a little over three years now. When I took a mental health genetics test through GeneSight it finally led us on the right path. However, no one could have guessed just how sensitive my system really is. I have tried over… Continue reading This is me.

Who Am I – A Poem?

A different place, different conversation. Still wanting to runaway now. Chasing my self, seeking my personality not found. Who am I? If I can’t have myself then you can’t have me either. Lost, hot damn. This river flows and boulders crash circling the tornado. At rock bottom, does the grass grow green? Glimmer before me?… Continue reading Who Am I – A Poem?

Prison Love III: Endure

Prison Love III: Endure – Originally posted May 24th, 2018 Here we are. Two years since I first stepped inside a prison to see him. What more is there to say. Has anyone seen the ending of Fifty Shades Freed? Where Anna watches Christian play the piano and she recalls all the most memorable moments… Continue reading Prison Love III: Endure

Prison Love II: Strength

Prison Love II: Strength – Originally posted August 13th, 2017 The question, “what am I doing?” rings in my ear every so often. It is answered by a warm sensation that lightly radiates from within my chest. My heart is in love. If you’ve been following my blogs, you’ll know that I have endured the… Continue reading Prison Love II: Strength

Prison Love I: Falling in Love

Prison Love I: Falling in Love – Originally posted August 12th, 2017 A year and a half ago, I saw a post on Facebook. The post appeared on his FB page and his mother posted it; it explained that he needed friends to reach out to him in this difficult time. I had no idea he… Continue reading Prison Love I: Falling in Love

Internal Hope

Internal Hope – Originally posted August 5th, 2017 I think of the word “hope” and I must admit, I have no idea how to put a definition on the word. And I use it all the time. Hell, within my first blog on this site, “My Personal Hell”, I referred to hope. In case you can’t… Continue reading Internal Hope