[This image was taken in 2011 in her youth-ish years. I won’t post a picture now because it is sad to see her so old] Snip. My precious baby that I’ve had through all these years of struggle. I got her the year I was going into my Freshman year of high school. Every late… Continue reading My 19 Year Old Kitty
I haven’t been on here since February and it feels like just yesterday. It is incredible how so much heartache and so much growth can happen in a few short months. I’m still working through all my demons. Some days I am brilliant. Other days I pull myself out of bed. I’m still a little… Continue reading My Return
2.12.18 Legendary or Ordinary? Scrap and fight For love – One embrace Soul trembling Thunder crashing Rolling thru two hearts Let loose What do we lose? Shaken But not broken Your presence Always with me Astral dream You see me You will never Love me more Never let me go I beg – I plead… Continue reading Alright?
Crash down Out of time Inevitable pain – gloom and dismay Are you okay? The ground shakes Lips meet. Tongues locked between. Hands low below Hips pressed against, Hard. Shaft. You. Drunk on euphoria Finally lost in you . . . . . And now? A moment of distance, pause. A craved engraved You can’t,… Continue reading Post-Valentine’s Post
I just pulled out a little black booklet from late 2016-early 2017. Inside I listed about 200+ bucket list items/activities I want to conquer in this life. After all the change, growth, and development of new perspectives and forming new ones.. I was shocked to scratch out many things that I simply have zero desire… Continue reading Buckeklist from 2016
I just had a “aHAH” moment. When you have something all the time, you start to treat the material, situation, emotion, or person and you end up acting like it is a privileged luxury you deserve. But we aren’t privileged to anything. And at ANY moment it can disappear. I miss him. I haven’t seen… Continue reading Ironically Missing You
At church this last Sunday, the pastor told us a story about how a man walked into his office years ago and said he wanted to kill himself. The pastor asked him why and he was met with many reasons – recently divorced, financial issues, his job is stressful, etc. The pastor shared with us… Continue reading Alternative to Suicide
Have you ever just cried? Like REALLY let it all out? Maybe in the shower, looking up toward where the water is spraying your face so that no one can hear. Yesterday night and tonight have been my crying nights. My counselor tells me that it is therapeutic. I’m not sure. I always come out… Continue reading Limitless Tears
I don’t know. The only thing I know is that maybe if I write then something will make sense. I want to write about every emotion feeling sensation image and see if I can get to an exile. I’m anxious. Constantly lately. Anytime I focus on my Self, anxiety is conquering the battlefield. And my… Continue reading Sort it out with Words?
All day yesterday I was on the couch, eating kettlecorn, watching Netflix and essentially doing very little (and I mean it when I say, very little). I was mad at myself last night so I ate right before bed. My brain knows this won’t help. But the part of my brain THAT WON the battle… Continue reading Weight Management Struggles Cont.