Come back No dream Sorrow pours deeper Than the black sea The heart of so many I’ve lost track Your smile so Sarcastic, sweet No judgement Acceptance between Think about me? Remember me? My mistake Question the truth Always missing you
Category: suicide
The One Who Holds the Stars
Everything happens for a reason. I’ve never met You but I know the truths that I believe in. I pray to You once in a while and I know You don’t judge me for not doing it daily or not attending church every Sunday (more like once every three months). You love every man the… Continue reading The One Who Holds the Stars
I Will Never Forget…
… I will never regret. Each moment. Each judgement. Each subjective opinion. Each comparison. All the jokes, giggles, sexy looks, agreement on physical appearances of others, our mutual love of Capt. Morgan’s or Skittles or Sex on the Beach. All those transparent conversations about sex and debates regarding the best way to have sex. You… Continue reading I Will Never Forget…
Alarm Clock, First Thoughts
Food. The one thing that will calm the storm known as “hunger”. When in actuality, it is only comfort food. I always do it… grab the first thing to eat even though I KNOW I am not hungry. I’m tired. Tired is uncomfortable to me. I need to be fully rested to maintain a stable mood.… Continue reading Alarm Clock, First Thoughts
Sunday Inspiration
Good morning lazy Sunday friends! Often on Sunday’s I am thinking, “ugggggh, tomorrow I go back to work.” I just now realized something SUPER shitty about that belief/feeling. I am so caught up on dreading the next day coming that I never live in the moment right now. I will waste my day anticipating tomorrow sucking… Continue reading Sunday Inspiration
Suicide: December 29, 2016
Have you ever been suicidal? My psychiatrist calls it “suicidal ideations”. What the hell is the difference? I recall being immobile in bed for six months straight. With one thought: it would be so much easier to not be alive; to not have to breathe one more breath. Because each breath kills you a little… Continue reading Suicide: December 29, 2016
My Life
Beautiful mind, Lost and alone. The broken past, Chaos and control. Her heart of gold, Selfless and dull. My mystery ride, Inside and out, brings Self-discovery Untold. Quest for peace – the Tears and the pain Ache deep inside. Irrationality in control. String me along Until I fold. Question remains – Choose to live, in… Continue reading My Life
Presence
Alive Above ground Sink within At my worst In my despair You were there Search for air Let it fold Be bold The chores Before I broke Obligated To dream or Scream You were still there
Long Days
Working ten hours a day equates extreme exhaustion – especially when you just go off six months of medical leave. I pushed myself too hard and now I spiral down. Ugh. My boss has expectations and I need my job to pay my mortgage and bills…. but F*CK! I am trying to be optimistic so… Continue reading Long Days
Perfection, Excellence… and Depression?
“Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.” – Harriet Braiker Perfection and excellence are similar but are polarized; perfection is on one end of the spectrum and excellence balancing the teeter-totter far away on the other end. But what happens when you throw a huge metal wrench in the middle called depression?… Continue reading Perfection, Excellence… and Depression?
Finding Happiness 